A Note Before We Begin

This is a reflective diary account of what one IUI (Intrauterine Insemination) journey can feel like — drawing on the kinds of experiences commonly shared by people going through fertility treatment. It's not a medical guide, and no two journeys are the same. But sometimes, reading about someone else's experience helps you feel less alone in your own.

Month One: Getting the Referral and First Consultation

After more than a year of trying to conceive without success, we finally asked our GP for a referral. I remember feeling a strange mixture of relief and dread — relief that something was happening, dread at what we might find out.

The first fertility clinic appointment was longer than I expected. We went through our full medical history, a pelvic ultrasound, and a list of blood tests. My partner had a semen analysis ordered. We left clutching appointment cards and a folder of information, feeling simultaneously more informed and more overwhelmed than before.

What I wish I'd known: Bring a notebook. There is a lot of information in that first appointment, and you won't remember all of it.

Month Two: Test Results and the IUI Recommendation

Our results came back. My hormone levels and ovarian reserve were described as "reassuring for my age." My partner's sperm count and motility were on the lower end of normal. The consultant explained that IUI — placing prepared sperm directly into the uterus around the time of ovulation — was a reasonable first-line approach given our results.

I asked a lot of questions. The success rate per cycle is modest, I was told — somewhere in the range of 10–20% per attempt, depending on individual circumstances. It wasn't as high as I'd hoped. But it was less invasive than IVF, more affordable, and felt like a reasonable starting point.

What I felt: A cautious, nervous hope. The kind where you want to believe but are afraid to.

Month Three: The Actual IUI Cycle

The cycle itself moved quickly once it began. I had a baseline scan on day two of my cycle, then a monitoring scan around day ten to check follicle development. The follicle looked good. I was given an HCG trigger injection to time ovulation, and the IUI procedure was scheduled for 36 hours later.

The procedure took about ten minutes. A thin catheter was used to deliver the prepared sperm sample directly into the uterus. There was mild cramping — uncomfortable but not severe. I was told I could go about my day normally afterward.

Then came the two-week wait. If you've been through this, you already know. If you haven't: it is, in some ways, harder than the procedure itself.

What the two-week wait is like: You analyse every sensation. You Google things you shouldn't Google. You swing between convinced-it-worked and convinced-it-didn't. You try to stay busy. You don't quite manage it.

The Result

Our first cycle was unsuccessful. The negative test was hard, even though I had tried to manage my expectations. There's no real way to be emotionally prepared for it.

We took a month off before discussing the next steps. That pause was important — not just medically, but emotionally.

What I Learned from Cycle One

  • The logistics are manageable. The scans, the injections, the appointments — they become routine faster than you'd expect.
  • The emotional load is less manageable. Build in support before you need it, not after.
  • Your relationship needs tending. Fertility treatment can make intimacy feel clinical and pressurised. Find ways to connect outside of the treatment context.
  • One cycle is rarely enough data. Doctors typically recommend three to four IUI cycles before reassessing. One result, positive or negative, is not the full story.
  • Ask your clinic about next steps in advance. Having a clear plan for "what if this doesn't work" reduces the shock if it doesn't.

Moving Forward

We went on to complete two more IUI cycles. The second was also unsuccessful. The third resulted in a biochemical pregnancy — a positive test that did not progress. Each experience was different, each loss its own shape.

We are now preparing for our first IVF consultation. It feels like a bigger step. But having been through the earlier cycles, we feel — perhaps counterintuitively — more informed, more resilient, and more certain that we are doing everything we can.

If you're at the beginning of your IUI journey, or wondering whether to try it: it is a real option, a reasonable starting point for many couples, and each cycle teaches you something. Be patient with yourself. Be honest with your partner. And know that whatever happens, you are not alone.